Ghosting is a common phenomenon that actually has its own word in the dictionary now. It has been alive for centuries and now it has developed into a cultural activity that is one of the stepping stones into the deterioration of humanity and social relationships. At the very least, it is when someone is too immature to let you know they are not interested in a relationship with you, so they just disappear; falling into the category of “Mean People Suck”.
I have read several articles and blogs about “Ghosting” and the real problem is that nobody knows what do to about it, so let’s just write about it. I read a blog written by a guy “In Defense of Ghosting Out of Relationships”. That explains part of it and is like saying “I am a total jerk and I know it’s not right to Ghost someone, but I don’t give a crap and I’m going to do it anyway”. I view it the same as running over an elderly lady on the street; it’s definitely wrong… but he’s going to do it anyway.
It’s become so common that there are different levels and tiers of Ghosting ranging from a simple swipe on a dating site, blocking someone on social media, blowing someone off after a few dates, and yes, terminating a long-term relationship by simply disappearing. Ghosting is one of the most severe forms of the “silent treatment” and wreaks havoc on the mind’s ability to even process what happened. Anyone who has been Ghosted knows the effects on a person’s self-esteem, increasing self-doubt, obsessing, making excuses for the lame offender, and questioning every other relationship in their life and sometimes… their mere existence.
After experiencing Ghosting myself, I read up on how to deal with it. I can guarantee you that nothing anybody writes or says will be your solution. All of the advice and recommendations seemed obvious to me, and were somewhat valuable, but simply following a text book or the advice of another person will not work. It is a journey that can only be undertaken by the person who has been Ghosted, and it’s not easy to recreate a new reality.
I heard statements like: “just get over it”, “do what you have to do,” “why are you taking this so hard”, “are you okay”, “are you okay”, “are you okay”, “don’t feel bad, it happened to me too”… and who knows what people were saying behind my back.
Don’t even get me started on “#Catfishing”…
(To be continued)
If you have been “Ghosted”, please feel free to share your experience…