A Shoebox House, by Rhonda Phelps

Coming in September:

It’s rare to find a date the organic way. Cyber-dating is the fad of the century, but it wasn’t what I expected when I signed up on Match.com. I had heard raving reviews about people on dating sites nurturing relationships, meeting their match, and pledging marriage. In spite of the online trolls that tried to sabotage the fun, unexpected friendships and romance manifested within a few months.

When sparks started to flow, the world was poised for pleasure and I was entwined in adventure with my internet boyfriend. Picnics, splashing in the rain, and gentle massages accompanied fine wine, succulent grapes and brie cheese. Summer glistened on waterfalls while hiking in the spacious national forests, and the night life hosted fun and friends. The cultural intake from museums, car show’s and live music linked our interests and we formed an indescribable bond. We were embracing life.

One weekend when he came to town, I became flustered and disoriented and everything was going wrong. I was beginning to doubt my rational existence. Two days later I was tossed into a lifeless and foreign world, and my friendships were in jeopardy. I felt like a fool, my spirit was hollow, and I craved answers. Obsessed with redemption, I discovered the truth as it was revealed through a series of real life emails, social media, Messenger logs and hand-written letters.

All Rights Reserved

# 10 Ways to Win a Woman on a First Dinner Date

What is a first date? Not only do men and women appear to be different species, we all think differently, look different, react differently, everything is different. Dating is not a reason to go have sex with someone, because it is the means of spending enjoyable time with someone, with the possibilities of having a longer-term relationship.

There are some acceptable dating etiquette guidelines when taking a woman on a first date. A date does not include a hook-up, but meeting at an agreed destination is acceptable. These steps are appear to be “old-school”, so I would enjoy hearing a variety of successful first date techniques.  

#1 – Communicate: You’ll need to CALL her and ask her on a date. Hopefully, before this point you will have talked on the phone already. Texting, messaging, dating sites and social media are adequate for introducing yourself, but not for deciding if you want a date or relationship. Call for a date.

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#2 – Plan: Pick a comfortable place. You should already know where you are going for this spectacular event. Make sure it is a place she will enjoy, and tell her you are paying for everything. Yes, everything. Suck it up. If she wants to pay, refuse, and make sure it is clear before the date. If the woman insists on paying, cancel the date. Sorry, but that woman has power struggle issues. Unless that’s what you want.  (Note: Women with power struggle issues will be the women posting in my comments that they do not have power struggle issues, get it?)

#3 – First Impression: Only open the car door if it feels right and isn’t awkward. You should be able to pick up on that, if not, go home. If you meet at the place, remember the doors into buildings/rooms, always open the door for her.

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#4 – Safe: Guide her through the door and into the building/room by placing the palm of your hand gently on the” small of her back”, or the place on her spine between her hips and rib cage. Lightly, with only slight pressure, so she knows it is there. It is not meant to push her, or be sexual, but indicate she is safe with you. If she punches you in the face, maybe you did it wrong.

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#5 – Table etiquette: When you go into a restaurant, observe the chairs, because you’ll be sliding her chair out from the table for her to be seated. It attracts unnecessary attention if the chair scrapes across the floor. Most women will scoot the chair forward themselves. The hostess may pull the chair out for her, go with the flow. (Did you notice the chairs and setting in the picture above?)

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#6 – Food: Order a finger-food appetizer; merely food you eat with your fingers. Not messy barbecued ribs, but glamorous bites. Finger-foods create a primitive connection between a couple, and I can’t explain it. Tell your date that she may order anything she wants. Don’t worry, you’ll find out some information on this exercise and it’ll be worth it. I’m assuming you already did your research on what kind of food she likes.

#7 – Intimacy: Listen to her. Seriously. Remember what she says and ask her a question later in the date about a subject she was talking about. You may even try a couple of subjects. Find out what she is passionate about by using  your sparkling personality, and creatively approach the conversation. You are developing intimacy; an emotional bond that most women crave.

#8 – Sharing: Talk about yourself, but put a limit on it. On a first date, you should already know enough about each other via texting, a phone call, mutual friends, or a dating site. This is the time for both of you to have fun and talk about mutual interests. (If there are none, well, you know to ask more questions before a first date.)

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#9 – Affection: Do not let the affection and romance exceed past hugging and a occassional kiss. Kissing is bouncing on the boundary during the first date, but you don’t want to offend your date by acting like you don’t want to kiss her. Make sure you are a good kisser. A sloppy or wormy kiss is a deal-breaker. I’ve talked to a lot of women about this, so take it to heart.

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#10 – Sex: This is a tough one. Never have sex on the first date. There is a good chance you will lose respect for her. It may not feel like it at the time, but it will happen. If you want to have sex, arrange a hook-up with someone, because you’re not ready to date.

If you’ve gotten to the end of the date, and you want to go on another date, ask if you can CALL her. Texting is tempting because you can sneak in conversations anywhere, so text to keep in touch, but CALL when you are setting up the next date. Don’t make plans for the next date, just get a commitment. Kiss her good-bye.

Dates don’t come with guarantees, but if you really like someone, and you’re willing to share your time and energy with them, you’ll be anticipating the next date with undue excitement. Anything I’ve left out… that’s up to you.

Have a great next date!

Rhonda

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You can change the world… one week at a time

(Photo by William Earl Thornton)

This morning I was reflecting on the past week and decided to share  my thoughts.

I have a friend who is a veteran, a Desert Storm survivor. We talk on the phone about once a week and I am always amazed at what he has to say. I usually listen to him, intently, about his experiences and his life today. He talks for a few hours… trying to sort it all out. I fully understand why we should pay more attention to the services provided by our veterans; we should take care of them.

A co-worker was expecting divorce papers after being separated for 6 months, and to his surprize, she told him she wants to work on their marriage instead. He is nervous, and excited about it. It’s a difficult journey, but worth it.

I notice people at the grocery store. Are they happy, sad, angry or numb? Do they smile? Are they unaware of others around them? I wonder what is going on in their lives. The people with frowny faces that smile when they see you in the next isle. The tourists loading up their carts and double-checking to make sure they have everything for their vacation in Big Sky. The people you make a point of avoiding, fearing their negativity will jump into your cart. The focused merchandisers that are frantically restocking the shelves. And I try to pick a lane where the checker seems pleasant, regardless of the length of the line. It’s a joy-killer to get a nasty checker. (Although, I am sure they have a reason for being grouchy.)

My daughter has cystic fibrosis and tried the new miracle drug, Orkambi, a few years ago but the side-effects were too drastic. Last week at her clinic appointment, the doctor prescribed another new drug, similar to the one she tried before, anticipating better results and fewer side-effects. CF is a terminal illness, so you can imagine the joy we experience with the advancing medical technology.

I talk to my my Mom on the phone about once per week, and we text almost every day. My parents are both still alive, and reside in Arizona. They are genuine and I am blessed with their guidance every day.

My son finally dealt with a haunting court situation that has been dragging on for 5 years and has caused him thousands of dollars in bail money, and several months in jail. He is getting a new start, I hope he embraces it.

I talked to a couple of friends who seemed stuck in certain areas of their life; relationships, financial, careers and personal acceptance. I mostly listen and ask questions. I take a turn sharing my quandries, and we usually we both walk away with a new perspective on life, and a rejuvenated sense of acceptance and love.

I dated a man for 4 months last summer, and he disappeared on July 27th. I tracked him down to a jail in Colorado. I wrote him a letter when I found him three weeks later… our letters crossed in the mail. His letter started “I’ve written this letter a thousand times…” Over the  past 7 months we have been corresponding via letters and a few phone calls. My friends ask me how I can be so compassionate towards him. It may be hard to understand, but there is a connection that I can not explain. During these 7 months, I experienced every range of emotion possible from manic highs to clinical depression. With my realistic approach and encouragement, he is on the road to recovery and rehabilitation as he opens up and is able to write about and accept his past. He is up for parole in May.

I am writing a memoir about my experience with this mysterious man, online dating, relationships, acceptance and self-realization. (Blah, blah, blah… I am trying to come up with a unique book description.) My goal is to publish it in June 2018 – “A Shoebox House”.

I attended a workshop sponsored by “9energies” that is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and others. Amazing organization. Bozeman is growing at a rapid rate and since I am a native, I am not always fond of the increase in population. A lady at the workshop shared her feelings about about how wonderful Bozeman was and how much she loves it here. She said she found peace here. It changed my viewpoint and I am thriving in a new perspective.

My 3 dogs are my buddies and my daily saviors. They love me unconditionally and greet me with enthusiasm.

These events are all miracles to me. Many other miracles happened… I am keeping those treasures also.

What happened in your week? Were you paying attention? What were your miracles?

Thank you for reading my post,

Rhonda

 

 

 

It’s the little things…

I texted some of my friends a photo of a page stamped with my new “Copy” stamp for work this morning.

It said, “I am so excited about my new ‘copy’ stamp! It’s the little things…”

One of my friends commented “Cool! It is the little things. That’s why I love you.”

Awwww… my heart warmed.

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I know, it’s silly. Put some fun in your day! Use your imagination and create your “it’s the little things” kind of life.

Short & sweet,

Rhonda

(The featured image is from a hiking adventure last summer in Sourdough Canyon, Bozeman, MT.)

The Honey Bird and Frog Story – To me with love from my children..

My children and their baby-sitter wrote this story for me in 2002 when they were 6 & 8 years old. A treasure worth saving… I love it…

 

Once upon a time there was a honey bird named Rose and a frog named Ribbit. They lived in a forest . They could only talk to each other.

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Now, Rose and Ribbit were best friends, they did everything together. They played games in the day, and at night they read books to each other.

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One day Ribbit went to the pond to swim but a storm came and lightening struck the tree next to the pond, setting it on fire. Luckily Ribbit got out of the pond before the tree fell.

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Ribbit went to warn Rose, but Rose had flown away. It was lonely without Rose, but one day people started moving into the forest.

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But they had a different kind of bird that looked like Rose, so Ribbit went and talked to the bird, and it was Rose. They never split up again.

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THE END

Thank you for joining me today…

Have a lovely day!

Peace,
Rhonda

(: {: [: ( > : ARE YOU MOODY?? : > ( :[ :{ :(

 

ARE YOU MOODY?

I imagine your friends and family can help you with this one… 🙂

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Other than the normal awareness we all have for ourselves, mood rings are a resource for the spiritually related individual. Mood rings were invented in 1975 by a jewelry designer and a physician, and they sold $1 million worth of them in a three month period. Of course, there is no trick, and it’s not based upon your emotions; it’s based upon your temperature.

My mood ring is normally green, which represents harmony and stability. Mine also has 4 tiny stars on it that glow in the dark- it’s actually pretty cool. A friend bought them for each of us while on a trip to Jackpot, NV – including my Mom. They wear theirs all the time and I sometimes feel guilty when I don’t have it on around them. Silly, I know.

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Here are my renditions of the colors descriptions:

RED – 1: A hot night filled with passion after a romantic evening with fine food an cuisine. Hearts racing with anticipation of a sensual kiss.
RED – 2: The exhilaration of downhill skiing with the powdered snow whispering with every turn. Adrenalin surging through each muscle and organ… excitement explodes!

ORANGE – 1: Grandmother welcomes you into her home and offers you a plate of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Her house is warm and inviting and vibrant.
ORANGE – 2: A fuzzy welcome mat on the patio with 10 puppies bouncing at your feet yearning for attention.

YELLOW – 1: A happy baby smiling, blowing bubbles and reaching out to be held. (Or winning the lottery.)
YELLOW – 2: Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz skipping down the yellow-brick-road.

GREEN – 1: A walk in the forest with pine trees and green, lush foliage surrounding a small green meadow with daisy’s, daffodils and lilies.
GREEN -2: Piles of cash stacked up in your 200 foot yacht while you cruise around the world.

BLUE – 1: The waves of the ocean crashing gently as your toes sink into the white sand. It’s quiet and peaceful with only the songs of sweet birds playing a gentle melody.
BLUE – 2: Soaking in a hot tub, drinking beer and eating potato chips while watching TV.

PURPLE -1: “Fifty Shades of Grey”
PURPLE – 2: “Fifty Shades Darker”

BLACK – 1: Gliding down the blacktop in your sleek, “attitude black” Maserati, and the horsepower displays its charm as a midnight stallion playfully catches your attention for a race…
BLACK – 2: Bat Woman

WHITE – 1: All creatures great and small when they can exhibit unconditional love.
WHITE – 2: A snowflake

BROWN -1: A Golden Retriever greeting you at the door. Better yet, a room full of Golden Retrievers.
BROWN – 2: After the first date and the other person says “I just want to be friends”.

So… that’s my life… what’s yours? 🙂

Thank you for reading and visiting my post!! (That makes me “yellow.”)

Peace

Rhonda

Copyright “Common Law” and Social Media

My ex-boyfriend sent me a letter demanding that I delete all of his pictures, the poems he sent to me, emails, texts, photos… the “works”. He was explicit about me removing any and all of his “works” from social media, computers, external back-ups, and revoked his authorization for me publish any of his “works”. He also demanded that I mail him all hard copies of the above mentioned.

Then he threatened to contact a lawyer if I breached his “notice”.

Well, this prompted me to research Copyright laws. There is a “Common Law”, which entitles the originator of any “works” to immediately claim copyright.

If you have a letter, photo, email or text from someone, it is your property, and you retain possession, but you cannot “publish” it without the owners permission. It works both ways, so if you send something to someone, they cannot rightfully publish it without your permission.

With the vast sharing on social media, websites and other apps, the concern is rising. Most people and companies do not pursue any claims, but if they do, it is normally a notification of infringement, and they ask you to remove the published “work”.  None-the-less, you are at risk for a lawsuit if you publish other people’s stuff.

Many of the “works” floating around on the internet are stamped, indicating a copyright. As long as the intent isn’t slanderous or defaming, it appears as if most owners are okay with sharing, because it promotes their work.

If you are snap-shotting or copying a photo or document, and re-posting it, you may be in voiolation of the Copyright laws. There are resouces that offer free media, and several more that offer a subscription to access photos for commercial or personal use.

Out of courtesy, I removed 2 of my blog posts that had his picture, otherwise, I am completely legal in retaining all of the documents and items in his “notice”.

The question now is… why would I?

Ya know what I mean?

Thank you for reading my post.

Emjoy your day!

Rhonda