# 10 Ways to Win a Woman on a First Dinner Date

What is a first date? Not only do men and women appear to be different species, we all think differently, look different, react differently, everything is different. Dating is not a reason to go have sex with someone, because it is the means of spending enjoyable time with someone, with the possibilities of having a longer-term relationship.

There are some acceptable dating etiquette guidelines when taking a woman on a first date. A date does not include a hook-up, but meeting at an agreed destination is acceptable. These steps are appear to be “old-school”, so I would enjoy hearing a variety of successful first date techniques.  

#1 – Communicate: You’ll need to CALL her and ask her on a date. Hopefully, before this point you will have talked on the phone already. Texting, messaging, dating sites and social media are adequate for introducing yourself, but not for deciding if you want a date or relationship. Call for a date.

city-restaurant-table-pavement.jpg

#2 – Plan: Pick a comfortable place. You should already know where you are going for this spectacular event. Make sure it is a place she will enjoy, and tell her you are paying for everything. Yes, everything. Suck it up. If she wants to pay, refuse, and make sure it is clear before the date. If the woman insists on paying, cancel the date. Sorry, but that woman has power struggle issues. Unless that’s what you want.  (Note: Women with power struggle issues will be the women posting in my comments that they do not have power struggle issues, get it?)

#3 – First Impression: Only open the car door if it feels right and isn’t awkward. You should be able to pick up on that, if not, go home. If you meet at the place, remember the doors into buildings/rooms, always open the door for her.

open doors.jpg

#4 – Safe: Guide her through the door and into the building/room by placing the palm of your hand gently on the” small of her back”, or the place on her spine between her hips and rib cage. Lightly, with only slight pressure, so she knows it is there. It is not meant to push her, or be sexual, but indicate she is safe with you. If she punches you in the face, maybe you did it wrong.

danger-small-back-carry-1.jpg

#5 – Table etiquette: When you go into a restaurant, observe the chairs, because you’ll be sliding her chair out from the table for her to be seated. It attracts unnecessary attention if the chair scrapes across the floor. Most women will scoot the chair forward themselves. The hostess may pull the chair out for her, go with the flow. (Did you notice the chairs and setting in the picture above?)

medium_7906679222-450x299.jpg

#6 – Food: Order a finger-food appetizer; merely food you eat with your fingers. Not messy barbecued ribs, but glamorous bites. Finger-foods create a primitive connection between a couple, and I can’t explain it. Tell your date that she may order anything she wants. Don’t worry, you’ll find out some information on this exercise and it’ll be worth it. I’m assuming you already did your research on what kind of food she likes.

#7 – Intimacy: Listen to her. Seriously. Remember what she says and ask her a question later in the date about a subject she was talking about. You may even try a couple of subjects. Find out what she is passionate about by using  your sparkling personality, and creatively approach the conversation. You are developing intimacy; an emotional bond that most women crave.

#8 – Sharing: Talk about yourself, but put a limit on it. On a first date, you should already know enough about each other via texting, a phone call, mutual friends, or a dating site. This is the time for both of you to have fun and talk about mutual interests. (If there are none, well, you know to ask more questions before a first date.)

hands and heart.jpg

#9 – Affection: Do not let the affection and romance exceed past hugging and a occassional kiss. Kissing is bouncing on the boundary during the first date, but you don’t want to offend your date by acting like you don’t want to kiss her. Make sure you are a good kisser. A sloppy or wormy kiss is a deal-breaker. I’ve talked to a lot of women about this, so take it to heart.

too-much-tongue.jpg

#10 – Sex: This is a tough one. Never have sex on the first date. There is a good chance you will lose respect for her. It may not feel like it at the time, but it will happen. If you want to have sex, arrange a hook-up with someone, because you’re not ready to date.

If you’ve gotten to the end of the date, and you want to go on another date, ask if you can CALL her. Texting is tempting because you can sneak in conversations anywhere, so text to keep in touch, but CALL when you are setting up the next date. Don’t make plans for the next date, just get a commitment. Kiss her good-bye.

Dates don’t come with guarantees, but if you really like someone, and you’re willing to share your time and energy with them, you’ll be anticipating the next date with undue excitement. Anything I’ve left out… that’s up to you.

Have a great next date!

Rhonda

my love.png

 

 

You can change the world… one week at a time

(Photo by William Earl Thornton)

This morning I was reflecting on the past week and decided to share  my thoughts.

I have a friend who is a veteran, a Desert Storm survivor. We talk on the phone about once a week and I am always amazed at what he has to say. I usually listen to him, intently, about his experiences and his life today. He talks for a few hours… trying to sort it all out. I fully understand why we should pay more attention to the services provided by our veterans; we should take care of them.

A co-worker was expecting divorce papers after being separated for 6 months, and to his surprize, she told him she wants to work on their marriage instead. He is nervous, and excited about it. It’s a difficult journey, but worth it.

I notice people at the grocery store. Are they happy, sad, angry or numb? Do they smile? Are they unaware of others around them? I wonder what is going on in their lives. The people with frowny faces that smile when they see you in the next isle. The tourists loading up their carts and double-checking to make sure they have everything for their vacation in Big Sky. The people you make a point of avoiding, fearing their negativity will jump into your cart. The focused merchandisers that are frantically restocking the shelves. And I try to pick a lane where the checker seems pleasant, regardless of the length of the line. It’s a joy-killer to get a nasty checker. (Although, I am sure they have a reason for being grouchy.)

My daughter has cystic fibrosis and tried the new miracle drug, Orkambi, a few years ago but the side-effects were too drastic. Last week at her clinic appointment, the doctor prescribed another new drug, similar to the one she tried before, anticipating better results and fewer side-effects. CF is a terminal illness, so you can imagine the joy we experience with the advancing medical technology.

I talk to my my Mom on the phone about once per week, and we text almost every day. My parents are both still alive, and reside in Arizona. They are genuine and I am blessed with their guidance every day.

My son finally dealt with a haunting court situation that has been dragging on for 5 years and has caused him thousands of dollars in bail money, and several months in jail. He is getting a new start, I hope he embraces it.

I talked to a couple of friends who seemed stuck in certain areas of their life; relationships, financial, careers and personal acceptance. I mostly listen and ask questions. I take a turn sharing my quandries, and we usually we both walk away with a new perspective on life, and a rejuvenated sense of acceptance and love.

I dated a man for 4 months last summer, and he disappeared on July 27th. I tracked him down to a jail in Colorado. I wrote him a letter when I found him three weeks later… our letters crossed in the mail. His letter started “I’ve written this letter a thousand times…” Over the  past 7 months we have been corresponding via letters and a few phone calls. My friends ask me how I can be so compassionate towards him. It may be hard to understand, but there is a connection that I can not explain. During these 7 months, I experienced every range of emotion possible from manic highs to clinical depression. With my realistic approach and encouragement, he is on the road to recovery and rehabilitation as he opens up and is able to write about and accept his past. He is up for parole in May.

I am writing a memoir about my experience with this mysterious man, online dating, relationships, acceptance and self-realization. (Blah, blah, blah… I am trying to come up with a unique book description.) My goal is to publish it in June 2018 – “A Shoebox House”.

I attended a workshop sponsored by “9energies” that is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and others. Amazing organization. Bozeman is growing at a rapid rate and since I am a native, I am not always fond of the increase in population. A lady at the workshop shared her feelings about about how wonderful Bozeman was and how much she loves it here. She said she found peace here. It changed my viewpoint and I am thriving in a new perspective.

My 3 dogs are my buddies and my daily saviors. They love me unconditionally and greet me with enthusiasm.

These events are all miracles to me. Many other miracles happened… I am keeping those treasures also.

What happened in your week? Were you paying attention? What were your miracles?

Thank you for reading my post,

Rhonda

 

 

 

OH NO! I ate too much during the Holidays!

Who likes fruitcake? Thankfully, there are many other goodies available during the holidays!

Are you concerned about over-eating this Christmas and New Years? The good news is that home-made goodies are in abundance, and that minimizes consumption of the boxed foods that contain… who knows what.

Don’t tell yourself “It’s hard not to gain weight during the holidays”. Why? Because you will gain weight. You need to be specific. How about… “I am going to let myself gain 2 lbs during the holidays” or ” I am not going to gain weight during the holidays.” (I admit, that’s a tough one.)

Stay positive.

Next, don’t tell yourself that you ARE going to gain weight over the holidays, that’s a sure-fire way to set yourself up for failure if you are managing your weight. Set goals instead, keep the concept reasonable and attainable. Food is in abundance and it is very tempting. Before you leave your house for a party, set your limits. For example: I am going to try 6 different things, one of each. I love the sweets, so I am going to select which three I want to try. Do the same thing at home, every day. (Pick your own quantities.)

And for goodness sake, watch the alcoholic beverages and pop. Most cocktails have between 100-300 calories per drink; may as well eat snickers bars. Apply the same goals to your drinks.

So… you say you don’t want to disappoint or offend your host/hostess, and other appetizer contributors. It’s a valid concern. Here’s a solution:

Fellow party attendee, “Did you try my sugar cookies? It’s my great grandmother’s recipe.” (Now there’s a guilt trip.)

You, “Those look wonderful! I saw several people enjoying them. It’s amazing that you still have your great-grandmother’s recipe. Do you share the recipe? If there are some leftover, may I take a few home with me?”

At this point, the attendee been redirected, and probably hasn’t even noticed that you haven’t tried any. You’re off the hook and sticking to your quantity goals. You may want to rehearse a few appetizer side-stepping replies on your own, be creative.

Don’t let an obsession about gaining weight keep you from enjoying parties. I also highly recommend limiting your alcohol intake for other reasons… our judgement is not at our best under the influence of the inhibition destroyer. Watching what you eat and drink can also help to avoid indigestion, bloating, discomfort, flatulence, embarrassing situations and hangovers. And don’t forget about the infamous sugar buzz!

Now, you are armed with self-confidence, a positive attitude, a rockin’ ugly sweater or cocktail dress/suit, and a bright smile.

Out the door you go…

Have a great Christmas and New Year!

Thanks for visiting my post!
Peace,
Rhonda

 

Be Kind …

This is a picture colored by my boss’s grand daughter and I have it on my desk at work, it reminds me of how we should treat each other every day. As the saying goes… “from the mouths of babes”…

Be kind to someone new today… a stranger… or just compliment your spouse, child or a friend. Be creative… be kind.

Have a fabulous day and thanks for catching my post!

 

FullSizeRender (2).jpg

Prison Inmates in Pawsitive Change Program – Believe in Miracles

Hooch-Drew.jpg

Marley’s Mutts is a 501(c)3 Non-Profit Organization in Kern County, CA. One of their programs is the “Pawsitive Change” which is alive in the California State Prison. It is a rehabilitation program that matches death row dogs with inmates inside the prison. The program is 14 weeks during which the inmates and dogs work towards their goals; the first 6 weeks are based upon dog psychology and rehabilitation and the next 7 weeks strive for the completion of the AKC’s Canine Good Citizen test.

Iinmates are encouraged to increase their willingness to engage in positive team-settings, express their emotions appropriately, and to understand canine behavior and handling skills to benefit them while in prison, and after they are released.

Canine’s work towards signs of trust and respect, a decrease in insecurity and fear, and to improve social behaviors and obedience. Many dogs and other animals are discarded due to behavior issues and pure neglect or abuse, and through these efforts the dogs have a much better chance of being adopted.

I have been following Marley’s Mutt’s on social media and I am extremely impressed by this organization. Zach Skow is the founder of the organization and he believes that by becoming a dog rescuer and creating the well-known shelter, it saved his life. He was an addict to drugs and alcohol with only 90 days to live, and his dog, Tug, was his saving grace with his unconditional love for his owner. The dog pictured above is Hooch, his tongue had been cut out when he was found by Marley’s Mutts, and he has his own remarkable story (I’ll share that in another post).

Enerson.jpg

 

(Unknown Inmate)

“We live inside a place where we can’t show our emotion, it’s considered a weakness. But with this program, we can feel, give and receive affection. We become cold in here, much more cold than we we entered. But these dogs give us a chance to be human.”
(Quote: InmateParticipant Cyclell)

The full story can be found on their web page at the “Home of the Mutt Militia”.
https://www.marleysmutts.org/

THANKS FOR READING!

 

I am not a representative of the organization, I just think they are awesome!!!

 

Christmas… Gifts… and then what?

Over 40 years ago, my main Christmas gift was a stuffed bear, it seemed giant-size at the time. Last week I was rummaging through my old treasures that I couldn’t live without, and saw the bear sitting atop a shelf in my closet. His fur was stiff and his dark marbled eyes were tucked back in his head, covered partially by fluff. I vividly remember waking up and running into the living room to see Santa’s gift, I was ecstatic! I grabbed the bear, squeezing and cuddling, it was almost as big as me.

Gifts at Christmas used to mean so much more, the colorfully wrapped sentiments have lost their value and have become an expectation. I would get one or two gifts under the tree, and they were special. I bought my children several presents when they were younger and unless the goody was coveted, they often lost interest in a short period of time. I was guilty of materialism during the holiday.

My family would gather for a meal, games, laughter and reminiscing, the air was light and Christmas music twinkled softly in the background. Although the traditions still aspire, I see it all over the world, the events often take on the theme of a “party” – alcohol abuse, arguing, judging… and don’t leave first or you may be the topic of gossip.

Not every family experiences the doldrums of the holidays, but for some, the holiday season is a nightmare. (Note: I’ve noticed we now have a “Holiday Season”, not Christmas.) Stores can barely contain themselves and they wait, biting nails, to put out their big displays and sale ads. The overall dollars are tracked to see which year had the best sales volume. People spend their paychecks and then dread January when the credit card bills roll in.

Quality non-profit organizations help less fortunate families obtain gifts and provide a wonderful service to the community, I have donated several times. Although I see the purpose, I wonder if the true meaning of Christmas is conveyed with the exchange.

Even though I may sound like a negative-Nellie, it is not the purpose of my post. I encourage everyone to engage in thoughtful presentations of sentiments to everyone you meet, now, and always. The “holidays” can be wonderful and joyous, and painful and devastating; you may find yourself with either perspective depending on your current situation. We know the happiness and the sorrow… we see and feel it. This year, make it a goal to do something about it. Focus on making a difference in someone’s life, help make it better… just one person, pick anyone. Pay it forward…

I intentionally left out the meaning of “Christmas” because I’m honestly not sure what it stands for anymore. The following site explained it to me, granting me a better understanding of the world-wide participation.

Thank you for joining me and reading my post, I know it is one of many…
Peace and Joy,
Rhonda

http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas