A Shoebox House, by Rhonda Phelps

Coming in September:

It’s rare to find a date the organic way. Cyber-dating is the fad of the century, but it wasn’t what I expected when I signed up on Match.com. I had heard raving reviews about people on dating sites nurturing relationships, meeting their match, and pledging marriage. In spite of the online trolls that tried to sabotage the fun, unexpected friendships and romance manifested within a few months.

When sparks started to flow, the world was poised for pleasure and I was entwined in adventure with my internet boyfriend. Picnics, splashing in the rain, and gentle massages accompanied fine wine, succulent grapes and brie cheese. Summer glistened on waterfalls while hiking in the spacious national forests, and the night life hosted fun and friends. The cultural intake from museums, car show’s and live music linked our interests and we formed an indescribable bond. We were embracing life.

One weekend when he came to town, I became flustered and disoriented and everything was going wrong. I was beginning to doubt my rational existence. Two days later I was tossed into a lifeless and foreign world, and my friendships were in jeopardy. I felt like a fool, my spirit was hollow, and I craved answers. Obsessed with redemption, I discovered the truth as it was revealed through a series of real life emails, social media, Messenger logs and hand-written letters.

All Rights Reserved

# 10 Ways to Win a Woman on a First Dinner Date

What is a first date? Not only do men and women appear to be different species, we all think differently, look different, react differently, everything is different. Dating is not a reason to go have sex with someone, because it is the means of spending enjoyable time with someone, with the possibilities of having a longer-term relationship.

There are some acceptable dating etiquette guidelines when taking a woman on a first date. A date does not include a hook-up, but meeting at an agreed destination is acceptable. These steps are appear to be “old-school”, so I would enjoy hearing a variety of successful first date techniques.  

#1 – Communicate: You’ll need to CALL her and ask her on a date. Hopefully, before this point you will have talked on the phone already. Texting, messaging, dating sites and social media are adequate for introducing yourself, but not for deciding if you want a date or relationship. Call for a date.

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#2 – Plan: Pick a comfortable place. You should already know where you are going for this spectacular event. Make sure it is a place she will enjoy, and tell her you are paying for everything. Yes, everything. Suck it up. If she wants to pay, refuse, and make sure it is clear before the date. If the woman insists on paying, cancel the date. Sorry, but that woman has power struggle issues. Unless that’s what you want.  (Note: Women with power struggle issues will be the women posting in my comments that they do not have power struggle issues, get it?)

#3 – First Impression: Only open the car door if it feels right and isn’t awkward. You should be able to pick up on that, if not, go home. If you meet at the place, remember the doors into buildings/rooms, always open the door for her.

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#4 – Safe: Guide her through the door and into the building/room by placing the palm of your hand gently on the” small of her back”, or the place on her spine between her hips and rib cage. Lightly, with only slight pressure, so she knows it is there. It is not meant to push her, or be sexual, but indicate she is safe with you. If she punches you in the face, maybe you did it wrong.

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#5 – Table etiquette: When you go into a restaurant, observe the chairs, because you’ll be sliding her chair out from the table for her to be seated. It attracts unnecessary attention if the chair scrapes across the floor. Most women will scoot the chair forward themselves. The hostess may pull the chair out for her, go with the flow. (Did you notice the chairs and setting in the picture above?)

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#6 – Food: Order a finger-food appetizer; merely food you eat with your fingers. Not messy barbecued ribs, but glamorous bites. Finger-foods create a primitive connection between a couple, and I can’t explain it. Tell your date that she may order anything she wants. Don’t worry, you’ll find out some information on this exercise and it’ll be worth it. I’m assuming you already did your research on what kind of food she likes.

#7 – Intimacy: Listen to her. Seriously. Remember what she says and ask her a question later in the date about a subject she was talking about. You may even try a couple of subjects. Find out what she is passionate about by using  your sparkling personality, and creatively approach the conversation. You are developing intimacy; an emotional bond that most women crave.

#8 – Sharing: Talk about yourself, but put a limit on it. On a first date, you should already know enough about each other via texting, a phone call, mutual friends, or a dating site. This is the time for both of you to have fun and talk about mutual interests. (If there are none, well, you know to ask more questions before a first date.)

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#9 – Affection: Do not let the affection and romance exceed past hugging and a occassional kiss. Kissing is bouncing on the boundary during the first date, but you don’t want to offend your date by acting like you don’t want to kiss her. Make sure you are a good kisser. A sloppy or wormy kiss is a deal-breaker. I’ve talked to a lot of women about this, so take it to heart.

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#10 – Sex: This is a tough one. Never have sex on the first date. There is a good chance you will lose respect for her. It may not feel like it at the time, but it will happen. If you want to have sex, arrange a hook-up with someone, because you’re not ready to date.

If you’ve gotten to the end of the date, and you want to go on another date, ask if you can CALL her. Texting is tempting because you can sneak in conversations anywhere, so text to keep in touch, but CALL when you are setting up the next date. Don’t make plans for the next date, just get a commitment. Kiss her good-bye.

Dates don’t come with guarantees, but if you really like someone, and you’re willing to share your time and energy with them, you’ll be anticipating the next date with undue excitement. Anything I’ve left out… that’s up to you.

Have a great next date!

Rhonda

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A Shoebox House – Online Dating : From Chapter 2 – Zombie Squirrel, A Romantic Walk

Here is an excerpt from the 2nd chapter of my book “A Shoebox House”. This is a cute scenario at the park on the first day I met Luke.

“Luke was a gentleman and I never felt pressured or awkward about talking, or my appearance; I felt accepted. Although, I was still not sure what to think about Luke, I reflected on his profile, and accepted that it matched his demeanor and attitude.

I noticed that there were little squirrels everywhere, running up and down the walking paths and scurrying up trees. These squirrels had big, bushy tails, and were obviously well fed,their beady eyeballs were bright and alert. Luke and I walked side-by-side along the trail that circles the pond. Tall trees lined the path and obviously provided the much needed shade in the summer. Luke was always by my side, but he never took my hand or invaded my external comfort zone.

As we proceeded down the trail, the brave squirrels came right up to us; searching for a handout. I assumed Luke came to the park often because he had a supply of peanuts in his coat pocket and was ready to delve them out; like pennies in a wishing well. I turned around at one point, slightly startled, and one bold little bugger was chasing us, apparently he wanted more. He was galloping after us at a rapid pace, and I was envisioning a horror movie with zombie squirrels. I grabbed Luke’s arm as if he were going to rescue me. I felt the softness of his flannel shirt, and embraced the touch, however brief, of another human being, a man. In an uneventful fashion, Luke tossed him another peanut… and laughed at me. I smiled as the zombie squirrel bounced off with his treasure.”

Thank you for visiting my post today! I appreciate it.
Enjoy life.
Peace
Rhonda

A Shoebox House – Online Dating – A Visit to the Adult Store (Part II of II)

I am sharing from my rough draft of my book “A Shoebox House” .  Previously, I posted the Introduction, Embracing Life (Part I and II), and part of a middle chapter – Erotique (Part I).

Follow my blog for more excerpts over the next few weeks. 🙂

Erotique (Part 2 of 2):

“That’s when Lambert, the owner, paraded in our direction, as if he were on a catwalk, and we tried not to stare. His voice was soft and graceful, breaching on femininity, and it confirmed our assumption that we were perfectly safe in this house of ill repute; we definitely would not hear any pick-up lines from him. Lambert politely asked what I was looking for and I pointed at a purple, slightly arched, rabbit attached, vibrator that was hanging on the wall in a box. I told him I didn’t want a “stiff” one.

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He handed us the vibrators on display, showed us how to turn them on, and pranced off to go get more batteries. I felt the shaft of a blue one and it was soft, yet firm, and another one was stiff as a rod. There was an abundance of variety displayed; one was thick, wobbly and a nude tone, and next to it was an elephant dick. Thank goodness I didn’t see any “fists” like I saw at the “Adult Superstore” in Las Vegas a few years ago. I looked over at Olivia and said “touch this”. At first, she looked mortified, but her expression softened and she seemed quite pleased with herself as she extended one finger to touch it. I was proud of her and by the end of our visit she was checking them out like a baseball bat.

Sadly, Lambert didn’t show us how to turn off the humming units, and we weren’t sure if we should set them down so they vibrated and twisted in our hands until he returned. He explained to us, in detail, the purpose of a “rabbit”; which was a feature of the purple model that I was interested in for my future companion. The “rabbit” is the smaller finger-like extension at the base of the vibrator and was designed for a woman’s pleasure. We touched about 15 different vibrators and used our enhance skills of power shopping, sexual finesse, and the process of elimination. There were pink and yellow vibrators, horse-size black and nude dildos, ben-wa-balls, and pink bullets, no larger than my finger. Lambert told us he gave away 200 of the pink bullets at the MSU Career Fair, giving young ladies an option for orgasms and sexual health. As a single woman, I supported the emphasis about not jumping into sex too hastily and getting unnecessary exposure to STD’s. I was impressed with Lambert.

As we went to check out, we notice a man had entered the store. Lambert made a point to stand between us and the other customer, explaining the he did not want any issues with us being “hit on” because it tended to happen with female patrons. I laughed off the subject of creepers and proceeded to relay my experience with the vaginal moisturizers and gels, and my doctor’s prescription. Lambert gave me some highly recommended lubrication and condom samples, and elaborated on how vibrators would help induce a natural biological climate for pleasurable sex. Lambert was a doll to talk with and I made a note to come back and visit the love hutch again sometime. I adored his knit sweater, blue looked good on him.”

(Photo credit: Harris County Public Library)

A Shoebox House – Online Dating – A Visit to the Adult Store (Part I of II)

I am sharing from my rough draft of my book, “A Shoebox House”.  Previously, I posted the Introduction: Embracing Life, Parts I and II.

Follow my blog for more excerpts over the next few weeks.

This is part of a middle chapter – Erotique (Part I)

“Adult stores pique an interest with the masses, but only a few are brave enough to risk public humiliation. What was surprising is that Olivia didn’t bat an eye when she told me “sure”. I explained to her that my doctor gave me a prescription for a vibrator, for health reasons. I was unsure if I should tell her about the other reason, even if we were good friends, because it is very personal; either I was too small or he was too big.

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Erotique is small and sassy and it is amidst some of the finer eating establishments located downtown near Willson Street. The risqué shop is known for its lingerie, sex toys, enhancements, vibrators and lubes and they advertise that relationships should be fun, fresh, and healthy. I used to get a creepy feeling about the place, but the new owner projects a different image, I could feel it. Now, I enjoy the turbulence the shop creates within a hypercritical community.

We drove into the center hub of Bozeman on a Saturday, an experience I try to avoid. I wish I could appreciate the city atmosphere and bask in its glory like some of the big city dwellers. I dreaded finding a parking spot, and I was one of “those” people who didn’t parallel park. The skinny concrete sidewalk is cracked and stained. We walked paralleling the historical brick building and it led us to Erotique’s blacked out door. On the side of the building, above the door, it looked like pink crepe paper was formed into the shape of a very large vagina, or at least that’s what it looked like to me.

I asked Olivia if she was nervous. She turned her beautiful brown eyes towards me, blinking a few times, apparently speechless, because she did not utter a sound. I hesitated before grabbing the door handle, and decided to pull down my sleeve to cover my hand, just in case. I strode into the forbidden cave confidentially with Olivia directly behind me, we were on a mission. I had been in Erotique before and it still looked the same; wire racks and colorful cabinets displayed assorted knick-knacks, and the deep red walls were lined with what-not… and more. The checkout counter was directly ahead and manned by an older gentleman wearing a nicely knit blue sweater. I avoided eye-contact and hastily turned right, which led us to the Great China Wall of vibrators and dildos.

Olivia was at a loss for words, and her eyes were occupied by the variety of sex toys suspended on hooks. We were drawn to a shoulder-height display where a few rubber playmates were exhibited. I turned my head side-ways, and then upright again; and even at a different angle, they were undoubtedly sex toys. I imagined that touching them would be like handling play dough art and pottery clay.”

“Indifferent Deceptions” – Erotique (to be continued)

**** Thank you for reading my post. I welcome your feedback on my writing ****

Peace,

Rhonda

A Shoebox House – Online Dating: Embracing Life – Intro Part II of II

I am sharing from the rough draft of my book, “A Shoebox House”.

Part 2 of the Introduction.

Follow my blog for more excerpts over the next few weeks.

Embracing Life (#2 of 2)

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“I was as much of a groupie as anyone when it came to rounding up the troops for a night out dancing to the “The Max”, a favorite band of many locals in Gallatin and Park County. The Bozeman Hot Springs is within 2 miles of my house, and I frequently worked out at the gym and soaked in the natural hot water. I could easily lose myself in a comedy, sci-fi, or a chick-flick at the big screen at the mall. The long scenic walks and hikes with fellow comrades provided an abundance of entertaining chit-chat and exercise.

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The favorite local taverns, bars, and bistros display a variety of cocktails and hors d’oeuvers, and an excursion downtown suggested many opportunities to select the ultimate atmosphere of your choice. Some dwellings are of questionable repute, some are swanky or ritzy, and most have a comfortable air about them. Taking in a play at the theater, or a concert at one of the countless venues, had become a regular occurrence; there was no lack of entertainment.

My life was well designed, I was enthusiastic about starting my new job, and apparently, I was living in one of the most popular places on the continent.”

Next: Erotique (Parts #1 and #2)

****  Thank you for reading my post. I welcome your feedback! ****

Peace,

Rhonda

A Shoebox House – Online Dating: Embracing Life – Intro Part I of II

I am sharing from my rough draft of my book “A Shoebox House”. This is the first part of the introduction….

Follow my blog for more excerpts.

Embracing Life (1 of 2):

“The old two-lane asphalt and dirt roads were well used; agriculture in the surrounding fields was at its peak, and the unblocked mountainous views were phenomenal. I was fortunate to have been raised in a small town in Montana where community was of the essence. As teenagers, we knew all the places we could go hide from our parents, mostly in the forested or private areas; Hyalite Canyon, the Rain Forest, Blueberry Hill, and the Madison River – to name a few. I relied on nature to revive me. The scents of the earth and pine trees were irresistible, and the sound of the rushing rivers and babbling brooks gave me a sense of tranquility.

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(Sunrise outside of Bozeman)

2017
I was single, loving life, and embracing it as though there were no tomorrow. I spent most of my free time surrounded by close girlfriends; giggling and throwing parties that included cocktails, murder mystery weekends and anything we could think of to join together in merriment. Mimosa and exquisitely prepared appetizers were often on the menu, we were caught up in making a treasure box of cherished memories.

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(Hiking: Sourdough Canyon, Gallatin County)

Bozeman is a small city in Montana that sprouted into somewhat of a social and cultural web over the past few years. The locals joked about living in “BozeAngeles”, with the hustle-bustle crowds accumulating every month, and the construction was non-stop. Fancy motels, lavish condos, conventional businesses, and a multitude of houses and recreational parks were rising up on every corner.

It created an air of prosperity, metropolis, and technology. Bozeman was changing at a rapid pace.”

Embracing Life Part II (to be continued)

***** Thank you for reading my post! If you have any feedback on my writing, I would be glad to hear it. *****

Peace,
Rhonda